CONVERSATION - II

 Conversation- II    Once we clearly define our preferences, people take the cue and do not transcend limits. May be, we would be left with a few friends    and      not a        wide circle of people under the common banner – ‘friends’. In the ultimate analysis we need only true friends and not   those with their own private agenda. So, what begins as an innocuous   conversation may lead us to various other domains- unexpected. What can be done to be safe is our present concern. To start with, we need not show off as a knowledgeable person. If you reveal to be one, others hide their inadequacies and make you look larger than what you are. This is the silent origin of ego in us and sycophancy in others  to fulfill their agenda. After all, a social company is not the place for  our importance. Craving for importance is a strong impediment to becoming a true friend. Once this weakness in a person is spotted, all others get polarized making the individual a butt of a joke.

So, in a conversation try to be useful in contributing and do not show the attitude of “listen to me”. If you feel someone is wrong on something,  later privately tell that person of how [s]he is wrong. It creates a sense  of respect for you and avoids the impression of your dominance.

People often speak from hearsay and have no authentic evidence for the contention. They are after sensation. Such people can be advised to verify facts before they speak.

Soon they realize that in your company it is not easy to make loose statements. The very group settles for more orderly interactions. This would make the assembly more meaningful /purposeful in concern. After setting the tone, it is easier to interact on meaningful issues. Once in a while, a conversation can be used to learn from/educate others. We may learn several things from unexpected quarters. Also, it is a forum to refine the language skills in vernacular or others. Sometimes we are unable to get the right words / expressions in mother tongue or English. A conversation group can help us in this. Human memory retains more by listening than by reading. That is why I reckon that the conversation group should be moulded on effective communication.  Creation of healthy facility for interaction is both relevant and vital for the promotion of progressive attitudes. Make it a forum to analyzing languages and usages. Usage is an important area to be learnt from others. It can be leant from News papers / media. But a repeated recalling of it in a group gives the right advantage to all. But, it calls for a willingness to heed. If people are not inclined, avoid imposing it on any one and choose a group that is favourable. It is not my endeavour to offer sermons. With what comes to my mind on these issues, I have ATTEMPTED a write-up. It may not be stubbornly authentic or significantly cogent. It is just a flow of ideas that may need some refinement here and there. Earlier I had suggested of some example in usage. Here it is: People of different regions in India have different styles of assembling words. Unless they express what they intended to say, it is difficult for us to clearly infer. Two of the usages in English are the words – only and too.  A lot of confusion prevails over their usage.

LOOK AT THE 2 EXAMPLES and see how you understand them                                                          

YESTRDAY, I ONLY called HIM.                   YESTERDAY ONLY, I called HIM.

YESTERDAY, I called HIM ONLY.   YESTERDAY, I called ONLY HIM.

Each of these is specific to convey a definite idea. Choose what suits the occasion.

GOPAL AND I WENT TO DOCTOR. GOPAL WENT to DOCTOR AND I TOO. Consider the DIFFERENCE and get your inference. If you have other such items, share them with friends s and enrich the mind.   Thank you for your patient reading.               Prof. K. Raman