CAPTAIN COOK

 

CAPTAIN   COOK

Please do not get perturbed that I am trying something of the distant past. Certainly, it is not about someone credited for identifying the Hawaiian islands.  The personality is too familiar to all. The leadership qualities and the power vested in the person prompted my designating him the ‘Captain’.

Yes, he leads a team of men and a few women who are indispensible on varied occasions like celebrations of Wedding, betrothal, smaller functions where the guests are in larger number – unwieldy for traditional household facilities to manage. On all such occasions, ‘the captain’ looks a ‘God incarnate’. Yes, obviously, his familiarity with the traditions that go with those celebrations and observances thereof, convince us that ‘we can ill-afford’ to miss him. In all his utterances, the man sounds encouraging and positive. He never retracts from any responsibility requested of him. All these make him the ‘best choice‘  for the occasion. How is it? The moment some event or function is decided upon –the elders in the ‘alliance team’, sound a caution [or is it a warning?] that they command lot of social esteem and that it should reflect in the food served on all the events connected with the occasion. Further, they go on to tender advice that ‘without delay‘, engage the best culinary services in the place.

The lady of the host household whispers something into the deaf ears of the husband who precisely ‘reads’ what the lady intended him recognize.  The very first thing he rushes [ wearing the shirt inside-out , in a hurry] to is to catch hold of the captain who is in demand on all weddings of a specific description. Yes. Captains conform to specific requirements for Iyers, Iyengars , Madhwas and every other denomination and faithfully present themselves in typical forehead display of the particular version they stand for. They have a nice demeanour  which convinces the new comer of having landed on an appropriate support for the occasion. Invariably, the ‘captain’ addresses every other ‘employer ‘  as ‘ANNA’ more as a submissive reference than in any due regard for age. Also, whatever he has to say something, he would prefix it with a ‘safeguard’ –‘please do not mistake me ‘as a strategy of preempting your enforcing anything on him. If you insist on your clinching a deal with him, then and there he would simply thwart you telling ‘I would visit you by 11.00 am Sunday next. He gently gets on your nerves by not committing of his undertaking your assignment. For the next day or two,  you run through hyper-acidity before he meets you on Sunday 11.o5 am in all grandeur of presentation  which  outright  takes the steam out of any argument from your side, especially that of the lady of the house. He would stay firm like a rock of Gibraltar and tender fitting replies to all queries and would offer to provide a detailed menu and the list of items to be provided for each occasion through the wedding. He would accept any small token of money as advance and faithfully leave his visitor card with at least 3 phone numbers.

At times, like Sidhdhas, these captains appear in two more places on a ‘wedding Day’ just to make the important bosses feel that the Captain is personally handling things in their function. Captains are too clever for all the organizers put together. They just move around visibly to make it appear that they are  devoting attention to this place.  At a suitable moment, the captain makes good his escape to another venue where his team is taking care of culinary arrangements. It is a way of accepting more offers on a day only to fill the coffers and survive through lean days / lean months. Should the boss of a place fail to notice his presence, the captain draws attention by some conscious effort to register his presence. All said and done, captains are excellent managers of crises. Should some preparation fall short of quality, the captain can amend  it to ‘ acceptable’ taste and many would seek to have a second helping of that ‘amended stuff’ which passes for a delicacy unheard of. These are the tricks from captains to keep the event free of skirmishes on account of poor food. They have several timely ‘correctives’ which save face for all including the captain’s.

To continue                             Prof. K. Raman