DENTIST DANIEL

      DENTIST DANIEL

The caption is self explanatory, as it refers to an established Doctor in Trichy- a major centre proximal to Srirangam. There is no ‘vulgar design’ of any kind here seeking to drag in Srirangam- a pilgrim town held in reverence by vaishnavites. Yes, the hero of the day is one Mr. Ramasamy [nick named ‘Kazhugu’ Ramasamy- for his long penetrative piercing scan of any new comer to the town]; I trust, all of you remember him for his dynamic warning served on Iyengar Mamis, of dire consequences if they responded to TV interviewer-the other day. Though he has crossed 50 a couple of years ago, Ramasamy enjoyed good health and good snacks - a true Iyengar by habits and idiosyncrasies. His wife Ambujam [Ramasamy disliked her original maternal name Alamelu and revised it to Ambujam as if the latter was ultra modern; the mami however was unhappy that Ramasamy lost a golden opportunity to get her a decent name; she merely lamented over Ramasamy’s inept skill even on such issues of female nomenclature despite his claims of a wide circle of girls of the 4 chithrai Veedhis of Srirangam. Whenever Ramasamy tried to boast of his friends -yes girls of course, Ambujam would cast a scornful burning look and quickly dash her lower chin on her shoulder -right or left to give a nasty rebuttal to Ramasamy. Ramasamy would drop into comatic silence for a few hours to come. Ambujam   was an avid culinary expert fulfilling Ramasamy’s palate and lean purse alike. True to his name ‘Kazhugu’, he would wait for Krishna jayanthi [Janmashtami]; Ambujam goes about making crunchy delicacies of ‘Seedai’, ‘Murukku’, Thattai each to fill a 2 kg stainless steel container; not to be eaten before offering them to Krishna. Knowing Ramasamy, Mami would keep fresh stocks inaccessible to ‘Kazhugu’. Assuming self to be too smart, Ramasamy would silently enter kitchen when Mami was washing clothes and steal handful of each and slip off to 4 houses away looking for the ‘in absentia’ Venkatachari who is always out of station. On Sri Jayanthi day at 6.00 pm Kazhugu dropped in asking “Why pooja is not completed yet?” Angry mami said -"keep off until 7.30 pm I know you have finished 35% already"  ‘Kazhugu’ sensed danger and moved off quickly.

By 7.40 pm Ramasamy had a ‘field day’ grinding off like a motorized mill. Next morning, ‘Kazhugu’ felt pain in the upper right jaw and noticed a Lemon-sized swelling and spasmodic pain. He now feared Ambujam more than the pain, avoided seeing her. By 9.00 am he moved off to Daniel -the Dentist at Main guard gate. ‘Kazhugu’ was the first patient.

Seeing DR. Daniel, ‘kazhugu’ made smiling gesture, though unable to smile. Dr. asked for the issue and ‘Kazhugu’ said tooth ache; now the lemon had grown to a small orange. What did you eat? [kazhugu sang within ["ஒன்றா இரண்டா எடுத்து சொல்ல"]. Dr. knew Ramasamy for years and guessed what could have gone wrong. Dr. had another patient with a far more serious tooth extraction procedure pending. He called ‘PAKKIRI, PAKKIRI’; a decent looking boy appeared and to him Dr. gave big scissors, Scalpel, a mini drill machine,  small hammer etc etc., much like a mechanic and asked him to switch ON 3000 volts; Kazhugu felt heat escaping through ear; Pakkiri came running and said “sir 3000v does not work”; Dr. “so what? switch ON 6000 Volt”, now Ramasamy started shivering by the value of voltage -6000 and said “Sir Shall I come tomorrow?” NO, NO, NO, We will finish it off to-day itself. ‘Kazugu’ was trembling in bare feet [he had left his foot wear at the gate, as per protocol].

A heavy male nurse pushed ‘Kazhugu’ to a recliner and putting a big nut cracker tool, he opened his mouth. Seeing the syringe ‘Kazhugu’ screamed even before the prick. But Dr. gave him a shot over the bulge from inside and gave 6 tablets 2 per day for 3 days. Don’t grind anything for 4 days till Monday next. Pay Rs 400/-. ‘Kazhugu’ murmured 6000 volts? Dr. said not for you. Kazhugu flew off in delight and [felt sad for seedai, murukku and thattai staring at him] with orange not so painful now.   But fear of Ambujam gripped ‘Kazhugu’ now.

Prof. K. Raman