THE JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM - II

The J F S -II

Grand pa / Grand ma were towering leaders of JFS

Yes, nothing would happen without their assent. Even if grand ma turned weak and not fit for hard chores like handling large vessels for preparation of food items, she would prescribe the day’s menu and ensure its happening. She was an almanac by herself and would keep track of events like Amavasya or Dwadhasi and would insist they be duly observed in preparations of food that would not violate the code of culinary conduct. Grand pas were largely silence personified. Silence was a true weapon and if he broke silence, rapt attention should descend on everyone irrespective of age or gender. On such occasions the man would suggest some changes or would specify modified code of conduct. Such changes were to reorganize ‘home front’ in the light of some guests due in a day or two. Implicit adherence to new guidelines was expected from the eldest son downwards to the last child crawling on the floor. Astonishingly everyone understood the tone of grand pa and verbal interactions dropped in decibels and everyone mastered the nuances of signaling by the eye. This optical art was indeed the forte of the daughters in –law of such homes; they could convey a dozen ideas in a flash of the eye and twitching of the mouth in a plane not to be noticed by anyone else except the intended recipient. Such signaling was common then.  It could now be seen in some elders of the present day who have had their grooming in such traditional settings.

Grand pa was the domestic economist and grand ma – the home physician however unlettered the two were. People of those times had robust common sense and ‘native wisdom’ strong enough to perceive economic signals right. Borrowing in cash or kind was a sin. It was a rigorous training to live within means- a thing conspicuous by absence these days.  Lest how should we understand the present day pack of credit cards for each person, which by the then standards are big discredits. Truly, there is economic dare-devilry these days!

We have known of two major types of JFhouses – the rich and the not-so-rich mid-income group. In the former, grandpas were Judges/ Doctors, Land lords, University Professors or Principals in institutions. The second category was from clerical cadres in Railways, Postal services or school teachers, Head masters or Head mistresses or village munsiff s and the like. But the fabric of life was frugality in either category and the head of the family was the grand pa in all homes.

Thus, the JFS offered a number of advantages for child care, frugal living, family bondage, obedience as a pattern of elder- younger association, and in respecting the women. Yes, the house had women of a range of age groups and they were held in esteem and those women had learnt the art of getting on with members of the other gender in absolute dignity.

THE NUCLEAR FAMILY

By the very composition it is the smallest group of parents and child[ren]. Expected to be highly organized in self –contained houses just sufficient for 4 0r 5 members at the most. In terms of facilities NFs enjoy more modern amenities than the larger JFs. Generally no elders   till the very inmates get older by efflux of time. NFs suffer a greater DEPRIVATION when their daughters are given in marriage and move away; also when sons move off to jobs elsewhere. Old NFs become highly nuclear and so rapidly lose identity. Does it mean that NFs are bad? No, they do not stay stable and tend to fragment in about 22 -24years from establishment. But it is a convenient outfit for planning an establishment as per one’s dream or desire. No sharing of resources is necessary. Actually some early problems are incomplete facilities, and early hiccups in preparation of standard food items of delicacy and a nervous mental state when guests keep visiting the newly-wed and so on. But, these fade off in a couple of years. Early child care needs elders back home when both members are in employment. However, NFs are economically better off and their resource-building potential is superior to those of JFs. Despite these, NFs do not get timely counseling on planning for days ahead or on states of minor ailments; they have no family support to bank on as their near ones are far away. Their short term existence has resulted in mushrooming of OLD AGE HOMES / SENIOR CITIZEN HOMES/ Domestic Nursing care, Catering services/ Geriatric care Homes. That has been the story of organization of Indian family as JFS and later as NFS with their boons and banes.

                                                             Prof. K.Raman