THE JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM

 

As of now

Dear SIR / Madam

A fair number of requests have come in suggesting the continuance of blog writing on my part. My lone fear was, only very few were going through the pieces. If something interests them, why disband it?  I shall keep posting.  A request for a specific item “Joint family” has been made by Prof.N.S . Rangarajan  of Madurai.  A  kind of   reader request it is. So, let me honour his suggestion. Today’s posting is on that topic.

ANY FURTHER REQUESTS ARE WELCOME

           Regards.          Prof. K. Raman      

THE JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM

[Topic suggested by Prof. N.S.Rangarajan]

India – as a nation has witnessed ever so many changes, of which   the most perceptible has been the disappearance of the domestic order – ‘the joint family system’. Our knowledge of its prevalence in other countries of the west is rather scanty, precluding the scope for comparison of cultures in the west and that of the orient. But, we humans can not lay contended unless we launch a comparison, no matter what the scale of its irrelevance is in terms of ‘times’. So, we have a handy tool – the nuclear family to weigh the merits of the joint family system with. The two systems are incongruous –being ‘incomparable’. What if? Still, we go about the operation, just to recognize what our gains or losses have been since the joint family was slowly given a go- by.

Precisely, since when the J F S got disbanded is not documented. Till about 1960s or so J F S was in vogue at least in smaller towns and villages. Larger towns and cities, offered better jobs and wages for all job seekers. Naturally, the filial generation – males had to move in search of sustainable lively-hood. From then on, Nuclear family pattern began in larger towns / cities where the boys from villages or small towns had settled as ‘employed bachelors’. Just a marriage was all that was needed to a nuclear family to spring up in a location away from their birth places.

A certain degree of adamant stance is typical of elderly persons in moving out from their ancestral village or town, making it easier for the young to establish a nuclear family ‘free from the clutches’ of in-laws. This must have been the most natural sequence of shift from JFS – NF. Another incentive for NF sustenance has been ‘the generation gap’ inescapably dominant among women folk – particularly in-law, be it mother or daughter. To compound this, the education profile of the two women comes in handy. The less educated is more intolerant of the more educated; it is nearly a golden rule. [There are a few exceptions – far between and in low frequency].With every fuel in right supply, the engines fire on all cylinders though outwardly harmlessly polite. That is largely the scenario or at least I believe so. Together all these firmly entrench the NF outfit.

GAIN OR LOSS                                                                                               

Like most debates, this could also be inconclusive with ‘no-holds barred’ trends on either side. But, for a dispassionate analyst, both loss and gain have accrued to both systems.

Loss due to N F                                                                                                        

After a couple of years of ‘free’ life style, fending the baby in infancy in addition to chores domestic / official is a task. A grand ma in place would easily ‘interpret’ the different cries of the baby and fix it for hunger/ anger / disturbed health etc. Merely by looking at the ‘behaviour’ of the infant, she would choose a safe course of home remedy and restore the infant to normalcy without a fuss. But now people run to the pediatrician and flood different syrups to restore health of the kid after a fee and a couple of days of agony. Children of NFs miss the grandma’s engaging stories that infuse culture, tradition and soothing comforts of sleep on grandma’s lap. Between supper and sleep a single grand ma would easily engage 7 or 8 children every night. Certainly a binding influence from grand parents’ care is unknown for NF children. A long lineage of the ancestry, their socio-economic profile and a vast body of relatives like uncles, aunts, cousins and their near relatives are just unknown to the children from NF outfits. In short, NF system has rendered us islands well connected by the internet. But the mental bondage is missing.       

Ability to coexist – a boon from JFS

It is no exaggeration if I say, easily 4 or more families comfortably co-existed under one roof. The number would readily touch a dozen or more with members of all age groups. They co existed by mutual co operation, division of labour , serving all for food, house-keeping, washing linen, taking care of all children alike . So to say all were parents for all children. Children bonded easily with all of them and every occasion was joyous cutting across age or parentage. There used to be special care for children with ‘now forgotten ‘ oil bath on Saturdays and quarterly ‘stomach purge’ by feeding castor oil to all children. It was believed to be a periodic cleansing of intestines and ensuring digestive well being for children. All these are forgotten practices and sometimes denounced of being unscientific. Certainly, there were less unscientific in the light of the present day junk food habits and resultant obesity issues, impoverished eyesight and such disorders in the young children.                                                                                  

More to follow    Prof. K.Raman