WHY THIS FRUSTRATION?

 WHY THIS FRUSTRATION?                                                                                          

                       A range of occurrences around us drives anyone to try and pinpoint the possible causes which exercise a firm grip over the minds of many. The frustration we try to figure out here pertains more to the present day youth than ever before. If elder minds seem to feel of being ‘neglected ’, the young mind seems to drop into despair that ‘nothing works my way’.   What tempts to draw such an inference is the spate of incidents    frequently reported in media –print / visual.   Indeed, the element of despair is vivid and it transcends descriptions of wealth, social status, health, gender, levels of education, means of living and comforts at home and the circle of friends enjoyed by a person. Let us painfully recall the number of victims of suicide among school children [5^th – 8^th standard],  students in High schools/ Higher secondary schools, from prestigious programmes  of study like Engineering, Medicine, Internships in profession,  Young Doctors, Nurses, Police personnel at middle or lower rungs of hierarchy, young house wives, sometimes newly-wed men. Most of them prefer to end their life in a fit of despair – a state of clueless confusion.

T        The   scenario

W   While some employees say [Police personnel] of work pressure, most others readily succumb to     unknown despair; they present a picture of thoughtless gloomy confusion over reasons that are more amusing than annoying. A number of youngsters pursuing higher studies choose to die for a single unsuccessful attempt in a paper of study. Does it not appear stupid? Some students resort to murderous elimination of another person over petty altercations like occupying a specific place in bus or train. Literally, a cultivated hatred between groups of youngsters turns public places like buses/ trains or platforms into a war zone with boys wielding unwieldy weaponry like swords, long sickle, crow bars and the like. It makes a dreaded spectacle of imminent explosive outbursts putting to jeopardy the safety and tranquility of general public. Over the years the malady has taken roots in larger cities where people of different descriptions co-exist. It is a puzzle as to how young minds display unethical brutal instincts        [eulogized as masculinity in movies] more so while in pursuit of tertiary education.  Such exhibitions are indices of mere biological growth sans analytic skills of mind. Too often such boys seem to believe that they receive attention and a fearsome respect as ‘leaders’. In the process, they turn subjects of ridicule and citizens unworthy of employment. Mindless aping of celluloid presentations unfailingly ruins such minds which are drawn to the hair-raising extravaganza of bloodshed and smashing of men and material on the way. It is a syndrome of inept analysis and defective justification of ‘might is right.’  Killer instincts are no better than self defeatist suicides.

Sc   School children appear still worse

So   Some children jump from the top floor of the school building to end life, if reprimanded for poor performance in examination or for inattentive attitudes to learning. Some students scribe statements implicating the teacher for one’s own hasty decision to end life. [The poor teacher has to earn the wrath of the administration and the society for a well-meant verbal reprimand]. Some parents overwhelmed by affection to their child, resort to manhandling the teacher, ignoring the relevance of the advice given by the teacher.

Se    Self –designed woes of the adolescents

Y  Youth of either gender of the advancing teen age suffer the surge of hormones; emboldened by the unrealistic presentations on the celluloid or small screen serials, these boys and girls on the verge of ‘to be men and women’ succumb to lust euphemistically christened” love”. They too dare their families, opt to elope   and get stranded in frustration. A large section of such ill-conceived decisions get s irrevocably entangled in a labyrinth of hopeless isolation.  Yet another despicable behaviour of young men is, resorting acid attack on girls who turn down any proposal for wedlock. In a large number of such instances, the boy is driven by desire rather than by desirability or parity by a theoretical belief that marriage needs just two members of opposite gender. Professed equality in society is a far cry from stark reality. Instances of both members ending life [instead of choosing to live] reveal thoughtless suicidal acts; indirectly they suggest of their not being fit to live. Inadequate strength to face life reveals itself from such hasty decisions, leading to nasty culmination of life by fear.  Some parents too express despair by resorting to ‘killing’ such of their children for rejecting their advice. These are instances of insane decision impelled by agony of dented pride in social and family circles

W    What to look for?

T  The under current in all the instances reviewed is, boys and girls have not had the training to recognize the possibility of ‘failure’ as a component of life . Though we cannot get to investigate every situation of woe and despair, we can sympathetically consider such Ill-conceived decisions of “non-starters” to end life. Yes, most of them are non-starters who have assumed that every workable option has been eternally exhausted. This is precisely where ‘mental organization’ commands relevance, which is conspicuous by absence.

      Get the basics right

It       It is for everyone to recognize that life is a game of effort and endeavour. Nothing in life comes for the asking. Both these criteria imply that desire has to be matched by effort.  This idea has to be deeply etched in the child’s mind. Children are our progeny; their comfort is our concern. So, please allow the child to ‘strive’ to get things.  Stop pampering the child. For everything the child desires, inculcate the idea that [s]he should make earnest effort. Keep reminding the child of duties and responsibilities as intimately linked to honest effort and the rewarding experience

W    Where do we go wrong?                                                 

 I   In our eagerness to shower affection on the child we overstep limits blunting the child’s natural instincts of learning ‘friction, failure and fight’ as components of life. We groom them as prince or princess, little realizing that such a child cannot face simple reprimand or tentative setback in life. Our disproportionate affection makes the child physically fit but mentally fickle. Fickle minds can never face difficult situations. Having lived a life of unstinted pampering, suddenly the World sinks under the feet and [s]he deems it fit to die at a mere reprimand by a teacher or for a failure in one paper in higher study or when a trusted friend deserts. Pampering destroys the natural abilities of a person to take on situations. Who but the parents have shielded the child from harsh realities of life?  

C  Child grooming

Gr  Grooming the child is not feeding the child of physical diet; it goes beyond into domains of learning by experience. Never step in - to side with your child when children get in to altercation. Leave the child to organize self in a competitive or combative mode. Better we inculcate practices of cultured disposition to others. By rushing to help the child, we curb the natural instincts of ‘adjustments’ and the need for self dependence. Also, furnishing the child with facilities like scooter / bike/ music systems, advanced gadgetry like higher generation phones readily cause unhealthy diversions. The child chooses seclusion to attempt viewing amorous displays intended for adults. Parents should never be facilitators of access to immoral outlets. Facilities beyond the point of essentiality have negative impact through temptation.  

To    To continue                                              Prof. K. Raman