SENIOR CITIZENS

 

SENIOR CITIZENS

Senior citizens constitute an enigmatic lot in our country. Why enigmatic? They are simultaneously wanted and unwanted; it sounds bizarre isn’t it? This anomaly is a product of attitude. The attitude crystallizes itself from immediate requirements within the family or the office for some persons. Largely, it is the filial generation which exercises the choice to have or not to have the grand ma / grand pa as free baby sitters sans the attendant risks of guarding the house and property by engaging commercial services. For them, the grand ma / grand pa are angels. After 4 years or so the same persons view angels as demons and would desire that the grandparents leave their fold for some other place. Now the house does not need baby sitters. Thus their attitude changes from positive to negative value.

Another swing from negative to positive value obtains in some establishments like manufacturing or marketing systems. The old man heading a section was viewed with contempt [till recently] for his piercing penetration into details of work -execution and ‘ready to pounce’ killer instinct of his for reprimanding the junior  workers. He is now retired and the junior workers heave a sigh of relief. Suddenly when senior management officials threaten of an inspection to the branch, panic grips the branch as all data are not kept coordinated. Now the retired senior looks a God for re-organizing the data and accounts, if they were to escape the wrath of higher officials. By the evening the important personnel from the branch flock the old man’s house and sheepishly ask for his help to set things right. Much to their awe and delight, the old man restores order from chaos within three days and refuses to take anything in return saying ‘ after all my family survives because of this system’. It is his [senior man’s] loyalty which comes to the rescue of all in a crisis.

Why is a ‘flip-flop’ attitude shown to senior citizens?

The answer is simple and straight forward, as the seniors too have flip-flop disposition towards juniors [office] and younger members [family]. When they handle tender children they are affectionate and soft-spoken.  When the child prefers a certain eatable, the old [wo] man reprimands the kid and parents alike even if some guests are around. [S]he further destroys cordiality by sermonizing with adage-like expression “in our days our parents …………….”.   It instantly works havoc between members of the family, with a prospect of landing selves in some distant old age home precluding the chance of visiting the house frequently. It is indiscretion which ruins cordiality.  But, the present day senior citizens are less offensive in their utterances, though they do not ‘see’ eye to eye with youngsters on every issue.                       

Why this pattern in behaviour?

A decisive key to this love-hate disposition among elders is traceable to the early grooming of the present seniors in their formative days. There was joint family system of all cousins, parents and their wards – all under one roof. There were only two categories – elders and children. With no barrier of any kind any elder can reprimand any child irrespective of parentage. It was freedom endowed if not granted. Most of the time kids were under one or other caretaker with no freedom of any kind enjoyed by the present day children. Such regimented upbringing resulted in men and women who are tradition –bound with no tolerance for worldly trends, entertainments or even items like fast-food. Those seniors would settle for fasting than try a variety of fast-food. In the process a typical mind set of ‘what I say alone is correct’ got entrenched with no one contesting any argument. To raise an argument against any senior was regarded nearest to sin. This expanded to all domains including workplaces.

Remedy not far to seek

All our life we keep learning. We need to learn handling the generation a little away from our own. Just politely explain the intended idea instead of summarily discarding the other point of view as irrelevant. Also, let us keep in mind that everything is in for a change including our own looks. Change is inevitable and any rigid posture can cause fissures and friction. Let is try to take things in the stride.

Let youngsters be affirmed that elderly utterances are drawn from experience bigger than our age. All they [elders] suggest are meant to serve timely caution from pitfalls. Also, despite poor wages the elders served the same system all their life as a mere gratitude to the employer. SUCH LOYALTIES ARE SADLY THINGS OF THE PAST.  Never please ignore the sentiment of elders who never wish anything bad for any kid. May be they do not articulate the opinion to convince you in a language comfortable to you; that does not in the least mean  anything bad for youth. Also keep in mind, in a few years from now your son or daughter may raise similar revolt to your ‘then’ orientation to them. Human mind has moved through the same corridors through every millennium. So your grand pa, grand ma nor we as grand children are any different.

Be that as it may, let us learn to enjoy the warmth of generations old or young as living is synonymous with peace and dignity.

Good luck                                                            Prof. K. Raman