A QUICK WITTED CC

 A QUICK WITTED CC

Our blog readers would not have forgotten the Captain Cook [CC] - a timely defender. One such situation is presented here for light reading. Yet, such occurrences are not uncommon, especially in the scenario portrayed here. It was a Saturday [10.30 am] when CC alighted from his bicycle and quickly made his way to the rear of the building, where his team was at work to serve a moderate meal to the wedding party who were awaiting the key guests –the groom and his kin to reach by 3.00 pm or so. The organizer of the event- Mr. Narayanan was visibly tense panicking of the prospects of disturbances due to some inadequacy or the other for the opposite party to make a scene of displeasure. Yet, mustering his cool, Mr. N walked to the rear segment where he cited CC and was relieved; asked when CC came, CC elegantly answered I am here –a reply without disturbing Mr. N. N is now relaxed that CC is trustworthy, having already begun his culinary schedule essential to convince all the doubting Thomases on either side of marital alliance. Sometimes marital alliances require martial skills to tackle offensive opposites craving for a fight; they later learn a series of bitter lessons –taught by all and sundry.

CC- by his affable disposition to anyone in a wedding gathering readily befriends literally everyone and knows the practical approaches to propel the function free of any hitch. Mr. N seeks to know if everything agreed upon would be faithfully carried out. CC, conscious of his commitments here and elsewhere nods in the affirmative and tells Mr. N to relax till the opposite party arrives. Now, N insists that the evening’s items including coffee/ tea or any other should be of top quality. To avoid any verbal reaction, CC dumps a cluster of beetle leaves into his red mouth and sucking his own saliva, violently shakes his head- of gestures of approval. Now, N chooses to retire for a while and does not feel like taking lunch with anxiety and uncertainty gripping him from the first lady [the would be mom-in-law of his pet daughter]. By 11-20 or so CC vanished into thin air –of course had passed on strict instructions –not to be speak but just serve food by 12-10 noon and get ready for the next session –evening snacks and coffee.

The much awaited opposite party was due anytime by or after 3.00 pm. Our CC is too smart and like a ‘man possessed’ comes to this venue say around 2-57 pm. In no time he makes an orange-red liquid and leaves it near the front entry for use upon the arrival of the groom’s group. By about 3-20 a buzz sets in with the arrival of a burly dad of the groom speaking in a thunderous voice, casting to the winds any sense of decency or semblance of respect for bride’s people. CC is too smart and coming out of his hiding, signals the women to offer sandal paste and flowers, and spray of rose water –all in facial gestures. The noisy man casting a scornful look surveys the CC head to foot; but CC had already surveyed the burly leader and had set for himself typical strategies to outwit the new comer. As if from heavens the burly man said in Tamil ‘my grandchildren, my daughter-in-law and her sisters do not take coffee. Unfazed, his head raised [to contain betel saliva within] CC casually asks ‘Bone viththaavaa? .The burly fellow “ ah may be”.

CC moves in, calls his help ‘sundhu, sundhu’. Sundhu stands in fear and pathetically looks at CC. CC-“Asoka halwakku edho vaangi vechchiye adhai edu” [Take out the stuff you had bought for Asoka halwaa”] Edhu annaa?asks sundhu. [Sundhu “What you ask?”] CC “Dey andha packettudaa”[ hello, that packet –CC] Tells sundhu, add 5-6 spoons, 4 spoons of sugar and bring. Now, CC adds fresh boiling milk and stirs to make an aromatic beverage of cocoa powder kept for Asoka halwa; Tells Sundhu to buy more of the packet. .

Now it is 4-15 pm. CC, neatly clad in a well maintained dhothi, groomed hair and a fresh banian, carries a flask. Reaches the arena of the burly man’s family and politely tells women folk ‘Bone vitta’ [he doesn’t know Bourn vita’] 3 women –one in poorly draped saree the other 2 in bell bottom pants and free flowing hair, 2 men [reminding us of Churchill’s Gandhiji]-half naked fakirs wearing insufficient trousers dangling in air several inches above knee and 2 boys below 10 years of age line up for ‘bone vittaa’. The boys take full gulp of the drink casting a thick moustache on the upper lip [far too soon for their age], jump like intoxicated monkeys shouting YUMMY, YUMMY’. C C grows anxious and asks YENNA KAMMI? The burly man says yummy; confused CC “ammila araikkaliye”,not ground on grinder platform- ‘ammi”. Burly man says ‘yamminaa- nalla taste. CC gets brightened. On return tells ‘Sundhu nee paasdaa’ [you have passed]. A delighted Sundhu sheepishly tells ‘annaa aseervadham.’.  The burly man tells his counterpart, “you have arranged an excellent cook of high manners and brilliance of art. Mr.N heaving sigh, requests CC to give the best food. CC tells “JAMAAICHUDALAM ANNA”. Mr. N feels he is already through. Yes, thanks to the quick-witted CC [Asoka halwa powder] who managed the situation unfazed and now disappeared to another venue.

Prof. K. RAMAN