ETIQUETTE

                                                     ETIQUETTE

What is ‘etiquette?’ Well, I am not trying to figure out the precise significance of the word; but it crosses the mind when some persons try interacting with us. There are a number of  occasions and occurrences that drive us into explosive anger from which we gather our sobriety by the process of sustaining etiquette. A question that emerges spontaneously --“Is Etiquette a process?”  A genuine response ought to be simply a big “NO”. But, in order that we save the prospect of ignominy looming large on us, we enforce a rigid control to stay within the perimeter of decency or social disposition. That way -a series of mental realignments occur within us in an attempt to be ‘decent’ in public perception. After all, it was just ‘etiquette’ that set off this cascade of strains and restraints that seem to work in tandem and in electric swiftness to restore order from out of a ‘possible chaos’. Thus it is a process.

Why at all it started or starts? Invariably, some X or Y known, less familiar or unknown who initiates [or does[s]he irritate?] an act of selfish vulgarity which [s]he assumes to be smartness. It is not smartness but a callous indifference to orderly happenings. It could be a queue for registering our turn for a consultation or worship in a place of serious importance to the Deity therein or even a ticket booking counter in Railways. I have seen persons trying to fill data in columns committing multiple errors in wrong columns and leaving those sheets of paper in its slot for someone else to pick up for use. Are we to accept it that such individuals lack awareness? Certainly not, their innate attitude is to cause dislocation through covert means. They feel to have accomplished something beyond the ordinary; yes in sheer stupidity they stand distinct and unparalleled.

Another breed pertains to initiating phone conversation. They have no protocol worth the name to stick to or to proclaim. Right away they call the recipient with no prefix like Mr/ Mrs/ Miss . They START ASKING SEENIVAASANAA? SUNDARESANNAA ? or something like that. There are far better ways like verifying -“Am I speaking to xxxxxx? Or can I speak to xxxxxxx ? Ironically, they claim to be holding decent positions in some office. Likewise, they would barge into a house without a knock or two on the door or use the call bell. Like the comedian Mr. Bean , the man would jet his neck into the house like a thirsty Giraffe and probingly search for inmates and step in to realize that it was a wrong place to have stepped into; now some little etiquette descends on the man as he sheepishly smiles and says “sorry I thought it is Sundaram’s house”. The inmate is another version of poor etiquette and quips “Sundaram  doesn’t  own the house , he is just a tenant” and harshly slams the door closed throwing out Mr. Avarai            [a translation for Bean] in a singular act.

Bad etiquette by women is even more disturbing when they raise inconvenient question like “Sundari has stopped quarrelling with you?; the other day I strongly advised her not to quarrel  with you” [as if she is entitled to quarrel with anyone else!] At times such characters take utmost liberty to speak to you when you are in the company of top brass of your firm in front of some hotel for an evening’s cup of coffee. The lady comes running to you saying “Tomorrow I am going to Maayavaram; I came to tell you, bye” Like a worm you wriggle in front of your CEO and for them you are CEO now [Chief Entertainment Officer].

Funny are the ways of some people who have the least concern for other men’s predicament portrayed here.

Prof. K. Raman