13 EXERCISING RESTRAINT
In
an earlier piece, I have indicated the relevance for composure. At times, it is
useful to dilate on how to sustain composure. Composure in general is the way a
person stays cool during interaction. It is a vital element in silently
displaying the undaunted state that one is in. Stated in a different way, it
shows that [s]he cannot be provoked into disturbed display of anger. On the
face of adversity, [s]he takes pointed questions and keeps replying well within
the limits of decency. Though suggested in simple terms, it is not an easy
exercise, as anger is an emotion- not ready to dissipate, proving hard to
contain. Obviously, for staying cool, there must either have been an intense
training or a genetic make-up unusual in general. A range of advisories occurs
in writings of the knowledgeable, suggesting the value of containing anger.
Anger does not require serious or persistent efforts of ignition. It gets
sparked off by the way that one understands a statement. At times, persons
imagine that a statement is a veiled reference to them; it irritates them and
opens up outbursts. Therefore, one has to cultivate the habit of listening
without responding unless invited to. One way of getting over the ominous
prospect of anger is to consider if the utterance is worthy of a reply. Most
often irresponsible statements have no value; let us not add value to them by
responding. Should a reply be essential to clear the air of any suspicion, we
need to wait for a proper moment to set the record straight and politely
indicate the folly in the ‘provocative’ utterance already made by someone. By attempting to interfere even on the first
occasion, inadvertently, we confer credibility on to the observation. So, a
rebuttal delivered at a later point invites greater attention than those of
instant denials. A set of carefully
played words can show the critic in poor light. A certain degree of grooming
can help in arming ourselves with both protective shields and destructive
ammunition by way of clarifying exposition. Restraint provides time to react to
a telling effect.
14 EVALUATION AND ANALYSIS
Evaluation
and Analysis are mutually inclusive and influential parameters which help us in
the process of judgment. Judgment is an all-important ability to determine
right, wrong, good, bad, moral or immoral of our decision making. So long as these criteria are objectively
assessed, our steps would be in the right direction. Essentially, judgment or
the error of it arises from the conflict between ‘right conviction’ and
‘personal convenience’. Obviously, treading to safety depends on objective
evaluation of the components of an issue.
On items of day-to-day functioning also, analysis, evaluation and
judgment come into play.
The
limitation to this exercise is the urgency with which one has to draw a
conclusion. On such occasions, indecisive minds prefer to sail with popular
opinion instead of specific assessment. So, despite the apparent simplicity in
leading our life, intricacies of mind-games silently control our decisions.
Before a judgment is made, evaluation precedes, governed by analysis. To
analyze, one has to understand the implications as a product of time- the
present and the future. Implications may not be predictable on every issue.
Despite this intricacy, judgment has to be exercised to stay safe and free of
embarrassment by commitment. The Indian
custom of pursuing a line by saying ‘Leave it to God’ looks less cumbersome. In
all such instances, the persons adopt a course innocuous and well –meaning,
without giving in to the temptation of immediate advantage. Since, the process
has not been ‘contaminated’ by greed or design; the person does not hurry to
achieve the end. At least, [s]he enjoys the peace of mind essential for healthy
living. Therefore, good decision-making comes to our rescue. None can escape
the moments of decision-making. Doing it or leaving it to God is also a
decision – making!
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