EXERCISING RESTRAINT

                                  13        EXERCISING RESTRAINT                                                 

In an earlier piece, I have indicated the relevance for composure. At times, it is useful to dilate on how to sustain composure. Composure in general is the way a person stays cool during interaction. It is a vital element in silently displaying the undaunted state that one is in. Stated in a different way, it shows that [s]he cannot be provoked into disturbed display of anger. On the face of adversity, [s]he takes pointed questions and keeps replying well within the limits of decency. Though suggested in simple terms, it is not an easy exercise, as anger is an emotion- not ready to dissipate, proving hard to contain. Obviously, for staying cool, there must either have been an intense training or a genetic make-up unusual in general. A range of advisories occurs in writings of the knowledgeable, suggesting the value of containing anger. Anger does not require serious or persistent efforts of ignition. It gets sparked off by the way that one understands a statement. At times, persons imagine that a statement is a veiled reference to them; it irritates them and opens up outbursts. Therefore, one has to cultivate the habit of listening without responding unless invited to. One way of getting over the ominous prospect of anger is to consider if the utterance is worthy of a reply. Most often irresponsible statements have no value; let us not add value to them by responding. Should a reply be essential to clear the air of any suspicion, we need to wait for a proper moment to set the record straight and politely indicate the folly in the ‘provocative’ utterance already made by someone.  By attempting to interfere even on the first occasion, inadvertently, we confer credibility on to the observation. So, a rebuttal delivered at a later point invites greater attention than those of instant denials.   A set of carefully played words can show the critic in poor light. A certain degree of grooming can help in arming ourselves with both protective shields and destructive ammunition by way of clarifying exposition. Restraint provides time to react to a telling effect.

14       EVALUATION AND ANALYSIS

Evaluation and Analysis are mutually inclusive and influential parameters which help us in the process of judgment. Judgment is an all-important ability to determine right, wrong, good, bad, moral or immoral of our decision making.  So long as these criteria are objectively assessed, our steps would be in the right direction. Essentially, judgment or the error of it arises from the conflict between ‘right conviction’ and ‘personal convenience’. Obviously, treading to safety depends on objective evaluation of the components of an issue.  On items of day-to-day functioning also, analysis, evaluation and judgment come into play.

The limitation to this exercise is the urgency with which one has to draw a conclusion. On such occasions, indecisive minds prefer to sail with popular opinion instead of specific assessment. So, despite the apparent simplicity in leading our life, intricacies of mind-games silently control our decisions. Before a judgment is made, evaluation precedes, governed by analysis. To analyze, one has to understand the implications as a product of time- the present and the future. Implications may not be predictable on every issue. Despite this intricacy, judgment has to be exercised to stay safe and free of embarrassment by commitment.  The Indian custom of pursuing a line by saying ‘Leave it to God’ looks less cumbersome. In all such instances, the persons adopt a course innocuous and well –meaning, without giving in to the temptation of immediate advantage. Since, the process has not been ‘contaminated’ by greed or design; the person does not hurry to achieve the end. At least, [s]he enjoys the peace of mind essential for healthy living. Therefore, good decision-making comes to our rescue. None can escape the moments of decision-making. Doing it or leaving it to God is also a decision – making!